You’ll find the following 4 tips of great value if you’re wanting to:
- Improve your connection with family and friends
- Improve your intimacy with your partner
- Or looking to build a new relationship with someone and want to get it right
Let’s get started.
Tip 1: Telepathy is a terrible tool for maintaining a healthy relationship.
How come?
Well, if you’re depending on your partner to just:
- ‘Know’ how you feel
- ‘Know’ what is important to you
- ‘Know’ your needs and wants
Then you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and resentment.
What I’m going to say next, might really sting you, but you need to know the whole:
“If my partner really loved me, they’d know I:
Baloney only happens in the movies.
So if telepathy is a terrible tool for maintaining, or creating a healthy relationship…
…What’s a better way?
Tip 2: Honest, Open and KIND communication.
See how the work ‘Kind’ is in all capitals?
It’s not a typo.
You see, honest and open (I.e. Not bottling stuff up) communication can be used like a sledgehammer to destroy a relationship.
But when it’s delivered kindly it can build and develop it.
However…
…It’s impossible to have honest, open and KIND communication unless both partners feel safe in the relationship.
You might be wondering what safe means?
What follows is a list of some of the most common barriers people experience when it comes to feeling safe in a relationship:
- A lack of Trust – How safe would you feel driving if you didn’t trust other drivers to stay on their side of the road? Exactly. And if you don’t have trust in your partner you won’t feel safe in your relationship.
- A lack of Affection – Affection helps to set the stage for romance. A lack of affection, a lack of focusing on your relationship and showing your partner how important to you they are corrodes safety and security.
- A lack of Kindness – One of the best things you can do to get along better with the important people in your life is to be kind to them. As author Gordon Livingston put it: “… kindness is the queen of virtues from which many others arise.” Wise words.
- A lack of Reliability – When the brown stuff hits the fan, your partner wants to know you’re there for them. If they feel they’re on their own, it undermines safety.
- Domestic Violence – Hopefully this goes without saying, but any unwanted touch destroys safety.
Bottom line: Good things happen in relationships when people feel safe in them.
Tip 3: What to look for in a good partner.
Contrary to what you might like to think, people’s basic personalities don’t change unless there’s an incredibly powerful reason for doing so and in my experience…
…That’s rare.
Most of my work is with people who WANT to change and even then they find it really hard to overcome years of relationship destroying habits.
People who have no interest in changing and just want to get on with their lives, well, they don’t change.
And the truth no one wants to hear is this:
Your love for them isn’t enough.
Your love, as wonderful and powerful as it is will not be enough to change your potential life partner’s personality.
If they’re ‘seriously flawed’ now, the studies suggest that in 5, 10, 15 years time…
… They’re still going to be seriously flawed.
So, if you, or someone you know is looking for a significant other, make sure you pay close attention to…
Tip 4:
10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Moving Into a Serious Relationship
The University of Exeter ran a study looking to find out what makes relationships work. Based on their findings they recommend asking yourself some very important questions about your potential life partner, before you take the plunge.
Here they are:
- Are my partner and I a good fit?
- Do we have a strong basis of friendship?
- Do we want the same things out of our relationship and out of life?
- Are our expectations of our relationship realistic?
- Do we generally see the best in each other?
- Do we both work at keeping our relationship vibrant?
- Do we both feel we can discuss things freely and raise issues with each other?
- Are we both committed to working through the hard times?
- When we face stressful circumstances, would we pull together to get through them?
- Do we each have supportive others around us?
If you’re answering these questions and getting too many No’s, then it’s a strong sign you might want to continue your search for Mr or Miss Right.
Remember…
… Relationships that last don’t do so by accident.
They are the result of taking time to find the right partner and being prepared to constantly work on your relationship.
In my experience a relationship is always a work in progress. You never get to sit back and think you’ve got it all sewn up.
So forget what you’ve seen in the movies and instead focus on what has been shown to work.
And if you’d like access to tools proven to work when your relationship feels like it’s heading for the rocks…
…Go here next to find out how I can help
