Hey there,
Marcus here.
Over the years, I’ve sat across from countless couples, holding a cup of my favourite coffee, discussing the twisty roads they’ve journeyed.
One of the most common themes that pops up?
Change.
Whether it’s moving houses, welcoming a new baby, or navigating a career shift, change is the one constant in life.
Now, I remember when my wife and I moved into our first house together.
The walls felt unfamiliar, the neighbourhood sounds were new, and I bumped into every piece of furniture we owned! The point is, change can be tough, even for a seasoned couples therapist like me.
But, guess what?
You, and the relationship you’re nurturing, have got what it takes to not just survive but thrive amidst change.
How can I be so confident?
Because I see couples manage it all the time.
And here are 7 tips to help you and your partner do the same.
1. Recognise It’s Okay to Feel Unsettled
First off, it’s totally natural to feel out of sorts when life throws a curveball. Give yourself permission to feel all the feelings. Remember, you’re human, and so is your partner. Share your worries, fears, and hopes. By discussing them, you both create a safe space for understanding and support.
2. Root Yourself in Shared Goals
Think about it. If you’re on a ship, would you rather brave the storm alone or with a co-captain? I bet it’s the latter. When life starts to shift, sit down with your partner and outline your shared goals. Having a common vision can be a powerful anchor.
3. Embrace Flexibility
Here’s a little secret: rigidity is the enemy of growth. If the winds change direction, adjust your sails. Adaptability is crucial. There might be times when things don’t go as planned, but remember, as long as you both are in it together, as a team, you can navigate any storm.
4. Reflect on Past Changes
Look back at the previous changes you’ve undergone. Maybe it was when you first started dating or when you became parents. How did you manage then? What did you learn? Drawing strength from past experiences you’ve navigated will give you the confidence to face current challenges.
5. Seek Guidance When Needed
There’s no shame in asking for a little help. Sometimes, an external perspective (like from a couples only counsellor hint hint) can offer invaluable insights. If you feel like you’re getting overwhelmed, remember there’s support available.
6. Celebrate Small Victories
Every little win counts. If you and your partner successfully assemble that complex piece of IKEA furniture without any hitches, give yourselves a pat on the back. Recognising and celebrating small achievements can boost your morale during times of change.
7. Practice Patience
With change comes uncertainty, and sometimes things might get a bit rocky. And in my experience, most folk don’t handle uncertainty very well. Especially for long periods. Instead of panicking or rushing, take a deep breath. Remember, it’s a journey, and every journey has its bumps. Patience, combined with perseverance, can work wonders.
Bonus Tip:
8. Stay Connected
Regardless of the whirlwind around you, make it a point to spend quality time together. Revisiting your favourite places, recalling cherished memories, or simply having a quiet evening together can be the balm you need to soothe the chaos.
To wrap things up, here’s my challenge for you: Embrace change.
A couple that works together as a team is a formidable force. I’ve been privileged enough to witness many couples weather changes they’d never have chosen in a million years.
Re-read the 8 tips above, choose the one or two that speak to you and put them into practice in your life.
And if you’re feeling overwhelmed and need support…
…Visit this page to see if any of the services I offer may be of value to you.
Stay strong, adapt, and keep moving forward.
Because together, you can do this!
Bye for now
Marcus