How to get everything you want and need in your relationship

Do you want a simple tool to give you more love and connection in your relationship?

Are you interested in learning how to get the sparkle and fizz back between the two of you?

Would you like to know the secret to having better and more fulfilling sex with your partner?

You would?


…Well, listen closely.

Because when I share this nifty little tool with you, you’re probably going to be like most of my clients and think:

“That’s too simple to work with my partner.”

So before I tell you what this tool is, let me share with you, another hard won insight from my work with couples in crisis:

Something doesn’t have to be complicated to improve your relationship.

In my experience, simple is usually better.

I’ve found ‘simple things’…

…Acted on regularly…

Make massive improvements to the quality of communication, harmony and connection between you and your partner.

But only if you use these simple things.

I know you know this, but it’s so important it bears repeating.

Here goes.

Knowing what to do is not the same as doing what you know.

Think carefully about what you’ve just read.

Knowing is one thing.

And it’s important.

But it’s doing what you know which makes things happen.

With this fact firmly in your mind, let me share with you the secret to getting everything you want in your relationship.

Are you ready?

Here goes:

The simple way to get what you want in a loving and healthy relationship is to ask.

Simple isn’t it?

But you’d be amazed at how few couples do it.

Preferring to believe:

“If my partner really loved me, I wouldn’t have to ask for what I want or need”

Don’t believe me?

Just see my previous post on why telepathy is a terrible tool for getting your needs and wants met in a relationship.

So, if – for example – you:

  • Want to try something different in the bedroom.
  • Wish your partner would help out more with the household chores.
  • Wish your partner would stop doing that thing that really winds you up. You know that thing.
  • Just ask.

    Yeah, there’s a best way to do it if you want to maximise the likelihood of a mutually favourable result, and I will share that with you if we work together.

    But if you only take one gold nugget away from this post, make it this:

    No matter how much you think your partner should just know you have a thing for stockings, or how much you’d appreciate a hand with dishes, or that leaving those used tissues by the side of the bed turns your stomach…

    …They don’t.

    So what smart people do is ask for what they want.

    For example:

    “Hey honey, would you mind wearing stockings next time we make love? They drive me crazy.”

    “I’d really appreciate it if you’d give me a hand getting this mountain of pots done.”

    “Please don’t leave your snot soaked tissues by the side of the bed. Put them in the bin.”

    And so on.


    …Like most simple and powerful relationship tools, this one also comes with a caveat.

    Please pay close attention.

    In a loving, caring and healthy relationship, you are allowed to ask for what you want and need.


    …Your partner is also allowed to say: “No.” To your request.

    For example, let’s say you’d like your partner to do something different during sex.

    Yes, you are allowed to ask.

    But your partner is allowed to say: ‘No, darling, I don’t want to do that.’

    And if you get a ‘No’, respect your partner enough to accept it.

    Don’t be a pest, don’t try and weasel or blackmail your way into getting what you want.

    That’s not cool.

    And it will damage your relationship.

    Of course there’s a bit more to getting what you both want in your relationship – than just asking – but it’s a bloody good place to start.

    And if you’d like my expert help and support discovering what your essential relationship needs and wants are…

    … and making sure you both get them met in your relationship…

    Please go here next.