Hello there!
So, you’ve taken that big leap and started therapy.
First off, congratulations!
That decision, my friend, is the hardest step.
Now, as we tread this path together, there’s something essential to discuss:
Staying motivated in therapy.
After all, the journey can be challenging, but the rewards?
Incredibly fulfilling.
I remember a couple I once had. They started therapy with gusto, ready to roll their sleeves up and put in the work to confront and resolve their relationship challenges.
But as the sessions rolled on, the energy waned.
They stopped coming to couples counselling.
And then I got an email with this line in it:
“Marcus, we don’t feel like we’re getting anywhere. Maybe this isn’t for us.”
Sound familiar? Trust me; you’re not alone.
Most couples hit that plateau at some point.
Here are 6 strategies I’ve picked up over the years to keep the fire burning and help you stay motivated in therapy.
1. Celebrate the Small Wins
Change isn’t about grand gestures; it’s about the little things. Did you open up about something you’d been hiding for years? Or maybe you found a better way to communicate with your partner last week. These are victories. Celebrate them. Remember, every step forward, no matter how small, is progress.
2. Set Clear Goals
During the first session with clients I always ask them what the goal is for our work together. What’s the mission? What brought you to therapy? Is it to rebuild a relationship, work through past trauma, or learn better communication? It’s vital we all agree on what the focus of our work is. When you have a clear destination in mind, the path becomes easier to navigate.
3. Remember the Why
On those tougher days, remind yourself why you started this journey. Maybe you wanted to break a generational cycle, heal attachment injuries or learn a better way to communicate with your partner. Keeping your “why” in focus can act as the lighthouse, guiding you through foggy times.
4. Communicate with Your Therapist
As I’m fond of reminding my couples: Telepathy is a terrible tool for healthy relationships. You can’t read minds and neither can I. So… Feel stuck? Or maybe you think the sessions aren’t yielding results? Talk to your therapist. They’re there to guide, support, and adjust the course if need be. Remember, this journey is a partnership.
5. Take Notes
This may sound too school-like, but trust me on this. After each session, jot down your feelings, realisations, and takeaways. Over time, these notes will act as a testament to your growth, and on challenging days, they’ll remind you of how far you’ve come. I make notes during and after each session. You should too. As I like to remind myself: “I forget… The paper remembers.”
6. Commit to the Process
I won’t sugarcoat it; therapy can be tough. It requires time, patience, and commitment. Oh, and a bucket load of hard work. But, like learning any new skill, the more you put into it, the more you’ll get out of it.
A coach of mine once told me the secret to success is a two step process:
“Step 1: Show Up. Step 2: Keep showing up. It’s Step 2 where most people fail.”
Take these strategies to heart, see the process through and the transformation in your relationship can be phenomenal.
There will still be challenging days, but with each session, the cloud lifts a little more.
You’ve got this.
Remember, therapy is a marathon, not a sprint. And just like any long journey, there will be ups and downs. But with commitment, communication, and a clear vision, you’ll cross that finish line.
To wrap things up, you have the agency here. You hold the power to influence your therapeutic journey. Your motivation, your perseverance will determine the pace and depth of your progress.
I believe in you, and I’m rooting for you every step of the way.
If you’d like my help with your relationship, visit my home page to see the services I offer to couples.
