The Trouble With DIY-ing Your Relationship Problems

In the age of unlimited access to recipes,
the hard part about getting good advice isn’t getting it.
It’s following it.
Seth Godin

I recently got an email from a 12-year-old.

They were writing to me because their parents were fighting all the time and they were wondering how much it would cost to book them in for a session.

Here was my reply:

At the time of writing (20/12/2022), my prices for couples counselling are:

• Face to Face £150 per session
• Video Conferencing Via Zoom – £100 per session

But if that’s too expensive then there was a very good book you could get for your parents.

And I shared the details of the book with them.

I never did hear from them again, but I like to think they got that book for their parents.

And they worked through the content of it…

…Made adjustments to the way they communicated with each other…

…And the young person now lives in a much happier household with much happier parents.


But the odds are stacked against them.

Which might seem odd when you realise many of the exercises in the book are the same exercises you’d cover with me face-to-face.

How come?

Because the book is written by the founder of one of the three core approaches I use to couples counselling.

And in case you’re wondering what those three core schools are…


  1. Gottman Institute
  2. Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy or EFT
  3. Terry Real’s Relational Life Therapy or RLT

So the question is, why would you pay £150 per session for a minimum of six sessions with me, when you could pay £9.99 for the book?

Now that’s a question worth considering.

First up, let’s look at the stats…

  • Only 60 percent of books purchased are ever opened. [1]
  • Of those 28.76% of people never finish a book they start reading [2]
  • 51.57 percent of Americans haven’t read a book in the past year [2] – I’m sure the stats for UK residents is similar.

With these numbers in mind, let’s consider other reasons why working with me is guaranteed to give you better results than using a book (or watching a video on YouTube for that matter) to DIY your relationship problems.

When you work with me, I will:

  • Set you homework and hold you accountable.
  • Challenge you, support you and gently nudge you when necessary.
  • Answer all of your unique, situation specific questions.
  • Tailor make everything we do to fit your unique relationship.
  • Use my expertise and training from outside the book to help you and your partner reach your relationship goals.

You simply can’t get any this from a book or online resource.

But, there’s something even more valuable you get when you work directly with me.

Something my couples tell me over and over again has been so powerful in helping them resolve relationship problems they’ve had for too many years.

Would you like to know what it is?

You would?

Okay, here it is then.

Protected Time

Working with me gets you undisturbed time to work on your marriage.

Time free from intrusions by your mobile, your children, your work, and so on.

You simply cannot get this kind of ring fenced, ‘Sacred’ time when DIY’ing your relationship challenges.

And if you’d like to get professional, unique to your situation, couples counselling…

…Go here next to book a session:

Bye for now


P.S. You probably want to know what the book is?

It’s: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by the Relationship Master: John Gottman