Have you ever wondered how couples counselling works at South Devon Couples Therapy?
If you have, this blog post is just for you.
…You know the kind of counselling that goes on and on for ever?
The kind of counselling where you talk and talk and talk…
…Yet never seem to ever go anywhere or get anywhere?
Well, we don’t do that kind of counselling here.
…If an unstructured, guided by you, non-solution focused approach to couples counselling is what you’re looking for…
…You’re in the wrong the place.
Then the chances are good you’re in the right place.
You see, it’s import you understand that the kind of couples counselling we do is very different to what you’ll get from a “Jack of All Trades” counsellor.
“What’s that?” You ask. “What’s a Jack of All Trades Counsellor?”
You know, it’s one of those folk who has a long list of mental health areas they claim to be expert in working with.
Where as, I only work with couples.
So how is the couples counselling done by South Devon Couples Therapy different?
Because it’s based on decades of tried and tested research.
It’s based on the evidence of what works and what doesn’t work when it comes to building happy, healthy and long lasting relationships.
And because it’s grounded in research and evidence, you can be confident it works.
Not because I say so.
But because the research and the evidence say so.
If you decide to work with me, we’ll do things very differently to how those ‘Jack of all trade’ counsellors work.
We’ll start with a very thorough assessment of your unique situation.
And when I say thorough, I mean thorough.
I’m talking about:
Getting crystal clear on what the ‘mission’ is for our work. And making certain it’s one you and your partner agree on.
Understanding what drew the two of you together in the first place.
Understanding how the two of you try to fix a challenging situation.
Individual, in-depth ’attachment history’ assessments focusing on:
- Your family of origin
- Your previous relationships
- Any trauma history
- Your current relationship
All so I can understand how you’re showing up in this relationship
And this is done before we get started on the therapy.
Now you might be wondering why we spend so much time investigating your relationship before doing any work on it?
In order to offer the best solutions to your relationship challenges, I need to know where you’re getting stuck.
And once all the investigation work is done, I filter it through the evidence based theory on what makes for a long, healthy and connected relationship.
And what you get is two or three tools – from my extensive relationship enhancing tool kit – most likely to help you get unstuck in your relationship.
These are the tools you’ll need to master in order to harness your relationship strengths and build on your weaknesses.
Only then, do we get started on the therapy.
During each two hour session (90 mins if we’re meeting by Zoom) I’ll share one tool with you slowly and comprehensively.
I’ll show you how to use it, check you’re able to use it on your own and make sure you understand why you’re using it.
At the end of these sessions, I’ll set you homework, so you can practice each tool and when we meet again, I’ll help you to fine tune your skills based on your experience with it.
Yes this approach is different and requires hard work.
And yes, you will be expected to do homework outside of the sessions.
But if you’ll give this approach your all, if you’ll roll your sleeves up and get stuck in, it will work.
Not because I say it will work…
…But because the research and the evidence say it works.
Using this approach to couples counselling, I’ve seen relationships go from deaths door back to loving and connected in as little as six sessions*.
In my experience – as long as there is at least a flicker of love left in both of you – it is possible for you to bring your relationship back from the jaws of disaster.
Okay, that’s enough for now.
I hope this blog post has given you a better understanding of my approach to couples counselling.
* Because I take a scientific approach to couples therapy, I keep a lot of data.
Data which tells me 6 to 10 sessions is what’s required for most couples to start to see a positive shift in their relationships.
…My data also informs me the more trauma there is in a relationship, the more sessions will be required.
…If the reason a couple is seeking counselling is because of the disclosure or discovery of an affair – that’s a significant relationship trauma – and working through it, will also take more than 6 to 10 sessions.