\u201cThe Dodo Bird Conjecture – Psychotherapy works\u2026 But no psychotherapy works better than any other.\u201d<\/em><\/strong> – Richard Bentall<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
The Dodo Bird Conjecture is a controversial topic in psychotherapy.<\/p>\n
If it\u2019s true (and I believe it is) then the difference between therapy that works and therapy that doesn\u2019t\u2026<\/p>\n
\u2026Isn\u2019t how many years experience your therapist has. <\/p>\n
Though it\u2019s good that they have some.<\/p>\n
And it isn\u2019t what school of couples therapy theory they\u2019re trained in.<\/p>\n
Though it\u2019s good that they are trained.<\/p>\n
All of this is important.
\n<\/p>\nBut there is a convincing argument that the difference that makes the difference between therapy that works and therapy that doesn\u2019t are the variables effecting the relationship<\/em><\/strong> between the client and the counsellor. Also known as \u201cThe Therapeutic Alliance\u201d.<\/p>\n
Wampold et al. 2002, found that 70% of the variability in treatment outcome was due to the therapeutic alliance whereas 10% of the variability was due to a specific treatment.[2][3][4][5]<\/p>\n
A 1992 paper by Lambert showed that nearly 40 percent of the improvement in psychotherapy is from these client\u2013therapist variables[6].<\/p>\n
Now then\u2026<\/p>\n
\u2026Does this apply to Couples Therapy? <\/p>\n
The literature I\u2019ve reviewed doesn\u2019t answer this question.<\/p>\n
But as a counsellor working only with couples I\u2019ve certainly had my own experience of this.<\/p>\n
When I first started practicing as a couples only counsellor, I\u2019d work with any couple. Even couples I knew I didn\u2019t get on with. <\/p>\n
But I persevered.<\/p>\n
Thinking that as the therapy went on, I\u2019d get to understand them better, warm to them better and the therapy would go better.<\/p>\n
You know what?<\/p>\n
It never did.<\/p>\n
Yes, I\u2019m a professional.<\/p>\n
And yes, I\u2019ve got thick skin and don\u2019t take it personally.<\/p>\n
But I\u2019m a human being too.<\/p>\n
And I know, the results of our work together will be much better (for both of us) if we get on.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s why I like to think of the first assessment session as an informal interview.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not everybody\u2019s cup of tea.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n
Neither are you.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n
And at the end of the first session, I\u2019ll tell you if I\u2019m happy to continue working with you, or whether we\u2019re not a good fit.<\/p>\n
And I\u2019ll ask you to discuss with your partner on the journey home whether you think we\u2019re a good fit.<\/p>\n
If you do\u2026<\/p>\n
\u2026Great, I look forward to session 2.<\/p>\n
And if you don\u2019t?<\/p>\n
Great, I wish you both well.<\/p>\n
Helping you to decide if we\u2019re going to be a good fit is also why I write these blog posts the way I do. <\/p>\n
I write the way I talk.<\/p>\n
Couples frequently comment on how there\u2019s a total match between what they\u2019ve read and how I am in the sessions.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s deliberate.<\/p>\n
So\u2026<\/p>\n
\u2026If you think we might be a good fit, let\u2019s meet up and start work on improving your relationship with your partner.<\/p>\n