{"id":1304,"date":"2023-09-23T17:47:01","date_gmt":"2023-09-23T16:47:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/southdevoncouplestherapy.com\/?p=1304"},"modified":"2023-09-23T18:58:47","modified_gmt":"2023-09-23T17:58:47","slug":"how-to-resolve-conflict-in-your-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/southdevoncouplestherapy.com\/how-to-resolve-conflict-in-your-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Resolve Conflict in Your Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Conflict. <\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s inevitable in any relationship. <\/p>\n<p>Misunderstandings happen. <\/p>\n<p>Feelings get hurt. <\/p>\n<p>Fights occur.<\/p>\n<p>But just because some conflict is normal, doesn&#8217;t mean you should accept a relationship filled with arguing, shouting and resentment. <\/p>\n<p>With good <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/southdevoncouplestherapy.com\/communication-problems-why-hok-is-the-solution\/\">communication skills<\/a><\/strong>  and a dash of compassion, you can resolve conflicts before they spiral out of control.<\/p>\n<p>In this post, we&#8217;ll explore:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Common causes of conflict<\/li>\n<li>Keys to resolving disagreements<\/li>\n<li>Resolving specific conflict triggers<\/li>\n<li>When to seek help<\/li>\n<li>Tools for better communication<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Let&#8217;s get to it!<br \/>\n<!--more--><\/p>\n<p><strong>Common Causes of Conflict<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Poor communication &#8211; Hinting instead of directness. Withholding feelings. Lack of listening.\n <\/li>\n<li>Unrealistic expectations &#8211; Of partner, relationship, or how life &#8220;should be.&#8221; <\/li>\n<li>Differing priorities &#8211; Money, kids, work, leisure time. Mismatched goals.<\/li>\n<li>Stress spillover &#8211; Job stress, family issues, health problems.<\/li>\n<li>Insecurities &#8211; Self-doubt, jealousy, fear of abandonment. Underlying anxiety. <\/li>\n<li>Change &#8211; Transition periods, life upheavals. Change creates uncertainty.<\/li>\n<li>Childhood baggage &#8211; Unresolved trauma, attachment styles, learned behaviours.\n <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Keys to Resolving Disagreements<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Listen &#8211; Without interrupting. Seek first to understand (to your partners satisfaction), not to be understood. <\/li>\n<li>Reflect &#8211; Paraphrase what you heard. &#8220;It sounds like you feel&#8230;&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Take responsibility &#8211; Use &#8220;I&#8221; statements, not &#8220;you.&#8221; No blaming allowed.<\/li>\n<li>Compromise &#8211; Find middle ground. It&#8217;s not about winning, it&#8217;s about mutual understanding. <\/li>\n<li>Communicate needs kindly &#8211; No demands or criticism. &#8220;I would appreciate if&#8230;&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Take a Time Out &#8211; Calm down before continuing. Revisit when cooler heads prevail. <\/li>\n<li>Forgive &#8211; Let go of grudges or the need to be &#8220;right.&#8221; Give your partner grace. <\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/southdevoncouplestherapy.com\/3-golden-rules-for-a-great-relationship\/\">Show appreciation<\/a> &#8211; Express gratitude for your partner&#8217;s efforts. Praise builds goodwill.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Resolving Specific Conflict Triggers<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Along with general principles, certain common conflict triggers require specialised approaches:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Money disagreements &#8211; Compromise on a budget. Communicate before big purchases. Agree to regular money talks.<\/li>\n<li>Parenting disputes &#8211; Present a united front, then discuss in private. Don&#8217;t undermine each other.<\/li>\n<li>Annoying habits &#8211; Don&#8217;t nitpick. Focus on your own behaviours, not your partner&#8217;s.<\/li>\n<li>In-law issues &#8211; Discuss boundaries\/expectations beforehand, not in the moment. <\/li>\n<li>Challenging work schedules &#8211; Calendar quality time. Coordinate responsibilities. Maximise time together.<\/li>\n<li>Sexual mismatches &#8211; Discuss needs kindly outside the bedroom. Don&#8217;t take it personally.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>With insight into common triggers, you can tailor your approach and avoid destructive conflicts. <\/p>\n<p><strong>When to Seek Help<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>If disputes become heated or personalised, or you find yourself stuck in <a href=\"https:\/\/southdevoncouplestherapy.com\/is-your-relationship-stuck-in-a-negative-cycle\/\">conflict cycles<\/a>, seeking professional guidance can help.<\/p>\n<p>A couples counsellor provides tools to: <\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Uncover root issues driving conflicts<\/li>\n<li>Improve communication and listening skills<\/li>\n<li>Address past hurts and insecurities  <\/li>\n<li>Establish healthy boundaries<\/li>\n<li>Find win\/win compromises<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Don&#8217;t stay trapped in destructive conflict cycles. <\/p>\n<p>Help is available.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Tools for Better Communication <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Little things can make a big difference in how you communicate with your partner:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Make eye contact when you speak and listen. Avoid distractions. <\/li>\n<li>Ask open-ended questions &#8211; &#8220;How did that make you feel?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>No sarcasm or cynicism &#8211; They corrode trust and goodwill. <\/li>\n<li>Compliment freely &#8211; &#8220;I really appreciate it when you&#8230;&#8221; <\/li>\n<li>Touch lovingly &#8211; A hug defuses tension. Reconnect physically.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>With good communication as your foundation, you can resolve disagreements healthily, and grow closer through the process. <\/p>\n<p>If destructive conflict persists in your relationship, <a href=\"https:\/\/southdevoncouplestherapy.com\/\">don&#8217;t hesitate to reach out.<\/a> You can schedule an appointment with me.<\/p>\n<p>Until next time, be well and take care of each other. <\/p>\n<p>Bye for now,<\/p>\n<p>Marcus<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Conflict. It&#8217;s inevitable in any relationship. Misunderstandings happen. Feelings get hurt. Fights occur. But just because some conflict is normal, doesn&#8217;t mean you should accept a relationship filled with arguing, shouting and resentment. With good communication skills and a dash of compassion, you can resolve conflicts before they spiral out of control. In this post, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1324,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/southdevoncouplestherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1304"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/southdevoncouplestherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/southdevoncouplestherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/southdevoncouplestherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/southdevoncouplestherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1304"}],"version-history":[{"count":19,"href":"https:\/\/southdevoncouplestherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1304\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1325,"href":"https:\/\/southdevoncouplestherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1304\/revisions\/1325"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/southdevoncouplestherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1324"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/southdevoncouplestherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1304"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/southdevoncouplestherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1304"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/southdevoncouplestherapy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1304"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}