Hello, Marcus Santer here.
As a couples therapist, I’ve had the privilege of bearing witness to countless stories of love, strength, and resilience. But today, I’m here to talk about a topic that can rattle the strongest bonds and bring the mightiest to their knees…
…Grief and loss.
Loss is a universal experience, isn’t it?
You and I, we’ve all experienced it in some form or another. Yet, when it knocks on our door, it feels so deeply personal, so incredibly unique.
That’s the complex nature of grief.
You see, the process of grieving is not linear, nor is it a one-size-fits-all ordeal.
Some days are easier than others.
Some days, the pain is so real, so raw, that it feels like it might swallow you whole. But amidst that sea of emotions, how do you support your partner? How do you weather the storm together without losing yourselves, or each other, in the process?
Well, let me tell you, it’s not an easy path.
But it’s a path we can navigate together.
Let’s look at some practical, compassionate strategies.
First off:
Communication
It’s the lifeblood of any relationship, especially during times of grief. It might feel like you’re walking on eggshells, but trust me, the silent treatment can be a lot more damaging.
Try to express your feelings, no matter how raw or unpolished. Encourage your partner to do the same. Remember, it’s not a competition on who hurts more.
You’re in this together.
Second:
Patience
Give yourself and your partner the permission to grieve in your own way. There’s no ‘right way’ to mourn. Some might cry, others might retreat into a shell, and others might keep themselves busy. Whatever it is, respect the process. Can you do that?
Third:
Seek Support
You’re not alone in this. Reach out to friends, family, support groups, or a professional like me. Research has shown that social support can significantly mitigate the impact of grief. You know, there’s strength in seeking help, not weakness.
And forth:
Self-Care
It’s easy to neglect this amidst the chaos, but please, take care of yourself. Eat healthily, get some exercise, try to sleep. It’s the basics, but they make a difference. If the ship’s captain falls ill, who’s going to steer the boat, right?
Now, I won’t lie.
The road to recovery is fraught with challenges. But remember, grief isn’t something you overcome, but rather you learn to live with it. It’s a testament to the depth of your love and the strength of your bond.
It’s important to acknowledge the complexity of your emotions. You might experience moments of guilt, anger, confusion, and that’s okay. It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling. And remember, it’s not just about coping, but about adapting.
Let me repeat that because it’s so important:
It’s about adapting, not just coping.
So, in the face of grief, can you stand by your partner? Can you respect their process and yours? Can you reach out for help and practice self-care?
I bet you can.
And when it seems tough, just remember, this too shall pass.
If you’re finding it tough to navigate this journey, remember that professional help is always available. As a couples therapist, I’ve worked with many couples who’ve navigated through loss and grief together. And trust me, the resilience of the human spirit is awe-inspiring.
We can work together to strengthen your bond and resilience.
You see, at the end of the day, it’s all about embracing the human experience in all its beautiful, messy, chaotic glory. Because love isn’t just about the happy times, it’s about standing together in the face of adversity.
And you, my dear reader, are equipped to do just that.
So take a step today.
Take that action.
Start the conversation.
You have the agency to do so, and remember, you’re not alone.
Lean on your partner, lean on your support system, lean on professionals if needed.
You’ve got this.
Remember, it’s about adapting, not just coping.
And together, we can make this journey a little less daunting.
To find out how I can help you with the challenges in your relationship, go here next
