Hey there!
Do you ever find yourself thinking about those early days in your relationship?
You know, when both of you couldn’t get enough of each other. The days when making time for your partner was as natural as breathing?
It’s funny how life takes a turn, isn’t it?
Today, I want to share 6 tips on something I see too many couples struggling with:
Putting your relationship at the forefront.
With all the responsibilities and challenges of daily life, it’s easy to shove your relationship onto the back-burner.
But if you’re reading this, something tells me you want more.
So, let’s dive in!
1. Schedule Time Together
Remember back when you’d drop everything just to be with each other? Nowadays, with work, chores, and maybe kids running around, spontaneous moments can feel few and far between. So, make them happen!
Just like you schedule meetings or gym time, book “us” time.
And when you’re together?
Be together. No phones, no distractions.
I’ve seen countless couples who spend time side by side but not truly *with* each other. The magic is in the quality, not just the quantity.
2. Listen Actively
Between the lines of everyday chatter, there are dreams, fears, hopes, and stories waiting to be heard. When your partner speaks, listen as if they’re the most important person in the world – because to you, they should be. Active listening means you’re not just hearing words but understanding the emotions and meaning behind them.
Years ago, I remember neglecting this with my own partner. One evening, she told me about a challenge at work. Instead of truly listening, my mind was already crafting solutions.
She didn’t need a fixer; she needed someone to listen and empathise.
True story.
3.Shared Experiences are Gold
Do something new together.
Shared experiences can reignite that spark. Whether it’s trying out a new restaurant, traveling to an unexplored place, or taking a dance class – doing something novel can bring back those butterflies.
Trust me; nothing bonds people like getting out of their comfort zones together.
4. Show Appreciation
It’s the small things, you know?
A surprise note, an unexpected hug, a genuine compliment. These little acts remind your partner that you notice and cherish them. I’ve found in my practice that it’s often not the big issues but the accumulation of small neglects that creates a chasm.
Think of appreciation as the lubricant that keeps a relationship moving smoothly.
Too little and it’s easy to create friction.
And too much friction is rarely a good thing.
5. Keep Growing, Both Individually and Together
Relationships are dynamic.
Like living organisms, they grow, adapt, and change.
So should you.
Learn a new skill, read, attend workshops, or pick up a hobby. And encourage your partner to do the same. As both of you grow individually, you’ll bring fresh energy into the relationship.
6. Seek Help When Needed
There’s no shame in seeking guidance.
We all need a fresh perspective now and then. As a couples counsellor, I’ve seen the transformative power of therapy. It’s heartwarming when couples, who once seemed miles apart, find their way back to each other with just a bit of guidance.
If you’d like help reconnecting with your partner, visit my home page to see which the various services I offer.
Relationships are like gardens; they require attention, care, and sometimes, a bit of weeding. And just like a garden, when tended to, they can bloom beautifully.
In conclusion, life will always be busy.
There’ll always be bills to pay, chores to do, and endless tasks vying for attention. But amidst all this, the question you need to ask yourself is:
Where does my relationship fit in?
Making your relationship a priority doesn’t mean neglecting other responsibilities. It’s about creating balance and understanding the love and bond you share is the foundation upon which everything else rests. It’s the love, laughter, and memories shared with your significant other that truly matter.
If your relationship has lost it’s sparkle and fizz, don’t worry. A Two Day Couples Therapy Intensive with me will help you to get it back again. I’ll share the couples therapy tools – proven – to help you:
- Feel more connected to your spouse
- Get on with each other better
- Feel loved by, and in love with your spouse
- Build love, respect and admiration for each other
- Create shared meaning in your life together
Bye for now
Marcus Santer.