Hey there!
So, you’ve found yourself in the middle of yet another disagreement about where to spend your next holiday or how many children you want, or perhaps even where to live?
I’ve seen countless couples face similar struggles in my couples only counselling sessions.
Here’s the good news:
Disagreements like these aren’t really about holidays, kids, or houses.
Nope, they’re about a deeper issue – a lack of a shared vision for the future. But fear not, because I’m going to let you in on 7 tips you can use to create a shared vision, which is a cornerstone for any lasting relationship.
1. Start with Self-reflection
Remember that date you went on when you were first getting to know each other? The one where you talked about your dreams, ambitions, and what you wanted out of life? I want you to go back to that moment. Before you can craft a joint vision, understand your personal dreams first. This isn’t a selfish move; it’s a crucial step.
2. Communicate and Listen
Once you’ve gotten in touch with your own desires, sit down with your partner and share them. Listen actively to theirs too. Remember, this isn’t a negotiation at the United Nations. It’s a loving conversation with the person you care about most. The aim? Seek to understand and then to be understood.
Sit down with a pot of coffee, pen, and paper. Be Honest, Open and Kind and write down your dreams, fears, and aspirations. Keep it real, and it’ll bring you closer than ever.
3. Find the Common Ground
You’ll be surprised at how much common ground you can find once you get talking. Sure, you might dream of living in a bustling city, while your partner yearns for the quiet countryside. But perhaps you both love the idea of being close to nature or having a vibrant community around. That’s your common ground.
4. Respect the Differences
Not everything will align perfectly, and that’s okay. It’s important to honour and respect your partner’s dreams as much as you respect your own. Remember, a shared vision doesn’t mean sacrificing your individual desires. It means blending them in a way that works for both of you.
5. Create a Shared Vision Board
I’m a big believer in visual motivation. Create a vision board together. Put up pictures, quotes, and anything that resonates with your joint dreams. Place it somewhere you’ll see every day and use it as a reminder of what you’re working towards.
6. Check in Regularly
Just like how our preferences for movies or food change, our life visions can shift too. Maybe you once dreamt of climbing the corporate ladder but now yearn for a simpler life. That’s okay. The key is to keep the communication lines open. Regularly check in with each other to ensure your shared vision remains relevant and meaningful.
7. Seek Professional Guidance if Needed
Sometimes, it’s tough to find a middle ground. That’s when professionals like me step in. If you find yourself struggling, consider couples therapy. It’s not an admission of failure but a sign that you’re committed to creating a beautiful future together.
Conclusion
A shared vision acts like a compass for your relationship. It guides you during the sunny days and steers you through the storms.
When would now, be a good time to grab that cup of coffee, sit down with your partner, and start dreaming together?
Trust me, it’s an investment in your future worth every ounce of effort.
Here’s to crafting a beautiful shared vision and a love story that stands the test of time. Remember, it’s in your hands.
Now go make it happen!
